The power of apology
“What’s the world for if you can’t make it up to someone?” — Toni Morrison
From The Healing Journal, where I share what my life is teaching me these days.
There is a difference between seeing pain and knowing the wrong that you have done to contribute to it.
You can see pain in someone you love and for that reason, say the words “I’m sorry” to hopefully not have to be a witness to it. We do that selfishly, to ease our hearts knowing that the words are prematurely delivered, often ineffective and never sufficient.
When you can feel the silence so deeply that the absence of reconciliation consumes you, it is in that space where true, real, deep apology lives. Too often, hollow words are quickly placed together and categorized as an apology. Instead, true apologies require us to see our faults, to see our brokenness, and to recognize how the chipped parts of us have damaged another person. A true apology is the work we do to pull out the glass that has pierced someone else’s foot—work that requires effort, patience, and care.
Words offered in sterility, without depth or vulnerability, will never provide safety. Words alone are never enough. They are merely the entry point.